I bet you think Heidi Klum has some clothes on in the photos below, don’t cha? Well, she doesn’t. Well, maybe her shoes are real. But other than the girl is naked as a jay bird. What looks like clothes is body paint. So, I bet you won’t be able to get that out of your mind while you are looking at these pictures! Ha!

Check out the paps in the far right of the picture above. He’s not even trying to hide what he’s wanting a picture of. Heh! Victoria Beckham has flown off to England to watch her hunky hubby in a soccer game over there.

She’s wearing all black with a pair of PVC slacks?? leggings?? that I can’t quite figure out how she got her feet through so she could pull them up over her bird legs. Well, who cares - right? She’s giving the paparazzi a show and has, what she considers, a broad smile on her face. She’s lovin’ herself and you can see it. She knows she’s lookin’ good. I can just hear her singing to herself in her head … ‘If you like my body and you think I’m sexy, come on baby tell me so ….’

Carla Bruni is just fit to be tied. Well, not literally. Then again, we’d have to ask her hubby, French President Nicolas Sarkozy, about how she feels about being tied - or several of her former boyfriends maybe. Anyway, she’s not happy that an announcement about a nude photo of her being put up for auction was put out the day before she left on an official visit to Britain. Now she’s got to meet the Queen of England with a nude picture of herself all over the internet.

Its not as if there aren’t lots of nudes of Carla Bruni (link NSFW). She’s been a model and done a lot of photo shoots over the years. Still, she’s trying to get some respectability and improve her favorability ratings with the French who haven’t been really happy about her being their First Lady. I thought Europeans didn’t have a problem with nudity!

Nude photo that is being auctioned after the jump (NSFW).
More nudes of Carla Bruni (NSFW)
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Gwen Stefani is pregnant like everybody else in Hollywood these days. I don’t think she’s having twins though, which sets her apart for most of the others. She had a shower at her house yesterday with a few of her famous friends. I’d love to see what the likes of Courtney Cox brought as a shower gift. Hey, the girl looks fantastic. She’s not as swollen as most women get by the time they are as big as she is. She says she loves GETTING pregnant. You gotta love that about her!

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Renee Zellweger is pictured all lovey-dovey with some guy. I don’t know who he is, but you can see there’s chemistry. We’ll see if we hear any more about it.

Celebritopia

Remember when Paris Hilton had to go to jail and swore she was going to go to Rwanda cause they have lots of poor kids there and she can do all kinds of good things for the world by going there? She said she was changing her life and doing good things from then on? Remember? Then Rwanda said thanks but no thanks so she went on back to partying and seemed like she forgot all about Rwanda and poor kids. It was like she didn’t think there were poor kids she could help anywhere else and besides, she didn’t know where Rwanda was anyway? Remember?

Well, she’s actually IN Africa now. Its not Rwanda, but she’s in South Africa. Of course, she went there because her latest boyfriend, Benji Madden of Good Charlotte is there to perform over the weekend. I’m sure she would have gone anyway (insert sarcasm here). Anyway, since she followed Benji there she thought she might as well do good while she was there. So she found some poor kids and had her picture taken with them. It was kinda like killing two birds with one stone.

All the kids knew who she was (that’s frightening enough by itself!) and she had a slutty publicity shot of herself that she signed and gave out to all the kids - musta thrilled them to death. Actually, it probably did which makes me even sadder for the kids. She actually behaved quite well other than what was probably not the best judgment in giving out those pictures of herself. She dressed a bit more subdued and acted pretty nice with the kids.

Wouldn’t it be nice if she decided that doing things for other people is actually fulfilling and means more than partying 24/7? If only Britney would learn that. But then, what would people like us do for a living if all these celebrities got their acts together.

Heres some photos of Paris in South Africa - the picture above wasn’t taken there, I just added that to get your attention

And why wouldn’t he be? He’s surrounded by women most of the time and he’s got a wallet the size of my house - which might have something to do with the women around him all the time. Not that he’s not hot - but the wallet helps. Okay, its more than the wallet. He’s hot, he’s in great shape, he’s funny, he’s a decent person and apparently, he loves his family. He’s got a lot going for him. I wonder if he’ll adopt me. Hell, he wouldn’t have to adopt me. If he can date Emma he can date me. She’s about Tallulah’s age, right? I’ll be good to him. Really. I will.

Renee Zellweger has done a photo shoot in bold primary colors for the April issue of InStyle magazine. Even with her swished up face, I think she looks lovely in these photos. Of course, its not hard to look lovely in Roberto Cavalli and Hermes silk gowns and Lanvin Christian Louboutin pumps. Great colors for the Spring!