Unfortunately, Hazel, I have to shave my legs just about every day. I just can’t stand the feeling of any stubble at all. I’ve discovered something, though, that works much better than expensive shaving gels or creams. I buy the cheapest hair conditioner I can find. You can get a BIG bottle of White Rain or other inexpensive brands very cheaply. Rub the conditioner on your legs and shave as usual. It’s a great way to save money, get a good shave and leave your legs smooth as silk.

Have you ever tried hair conditioner on your legs, Hazel?

No I haven’t! What a good idea. I’m going to try that. It makes a lot of sense that would work! Thanks for the tip. hazel

I was just reading a news story about the number of sex partners people have. It seems that men have more sex partners than women - a lifetime average of 7 - while women have an average of 4. I don’t know, Hazel, but I’ve always heard that seven is supposed to be a lucky number. Do you think that has anything to do with why men have that many partners?

New survey tells how much sex we’re having
29 percent of men, 9 percent of women say they’ve had 15 or more partners
NEW YORK
It’s a question that often prompts a boastful answer or a bashful one: How many sex partners have you had?

Now the federal government says it has authoritative statistics, documenting that men are far more likely to play the field than women.

A new nationwide survey, using high-tech methods to solicit candid answers on sexual activity and illegal drug use, finds that 29 percent of American men report having 15 or more female sexual partners in a lifetime, while only 9 percent of women report having sex with 15 or more men.

The median number of lifetime female sexual partners for men was seven; the median number of male partners for women was four.

The survey, released Friday, is based on data collected from 1999 to 2002 for the National Center for Health Statistics, a branch of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

In previous federal surveys on these topics, participants were asked questions in face-to-face interviews. The CDC believes that caused underreporting of behaviors which might be viewed negatively, although the survey did not provide any comparative results from earlier reports.

This time, data was gathered from 6,237 adults, aged 20 to 59, in what are called computer-assisted self-interviews — a method designed to provide complete privacy and produce more honest answers.

“This is the first time we’ve used this technique,” said Dr. Kathryn Porter, who served as medical officer for the survey. “The participants have a headset on, they hear questions, they touch the screen with responses. There’s no one else in the room and they can take as long as they want.”

Porter said the findings would provide grist for further studies, notably on the prevalence and patterns of sexually transmitted diseases.

Though the survey results were presented by the CDC without subjective comment, they will likely provide ammunition to various parties in the ongoing national debate over sex education, cohabitation and access to birth control.

If men have so many more sex partners than women, how do the numbers work out that way? Guess I’m not too good at math, but it would seem that it would work out fairly evenly - unless lots of men are having sex with men…and maybe that’s the answer?

People are usually embarrassed if they are having emotional difficulties. We try to hide it and will call it pretty much anything other than what it is. We’ll attribute it to physical pain or relationship problems among other things. In my 25 years as a psychotherapist I rarely had someone come to see me who identified themselves as having emotional problems. That’s unfortunate because the healing process requires exactly the opposite. Let me explain.

We have emotional pain for a reason. Just like physical pain, it it is what helps us identify that we are having a problem and what the source of that problem is. Suppose you fall down the stairs and twist your ankle. When you go to the doctor he puts splint on your wrist and tells you to not use your left hand for 3 weeks so it can heal. You are getting treatment, but not for the right ailment. Your ankle won’t heal properly and will continue to cause you pain. In the same way, if you are in an abusive relationship that you are afraid to leave, but tell yourself that your depression is because you just don’t feel ‘right’ you will continue to be in emotion pain and will not heal properly.

Our emotions are what help us heal. It’s when we avoid or try to keep our emotions suppressed that we find ourselves in emotional trouble.

We have four basic emotions; anger, fear, happiness and sadness. An easy way to remember them is mad, sad, glad and afraid. Allowing ourselves to express those emotions appropriately helps us heal from the emotional upheavals we are faced with in living life.

We call those emotions a lot of different things. When we are angry we might say we are frustrated, hurt or irritated. We often use ‘hurt’ to describe sad as well. We might also call sad feeling down or got the blues. Whatever we call the emotion, they all boil down into those four categories.

It doesn’t really matter what you call the emotion. What matters is that you can recognize it and give yourself permission to express it. We do have to give ourselves permission to express our emotions because we are usually taught not to. In our society women are usually taught that being angry is not lady-like. A woman runs the risk of being called a bitch if she is angry. So women usually turn anger into sadness or fear as those are more acceptable emotions for women. Men, on the other hand, are viewed with disdain if they act afraid. Men aren’t suppose to cry. So when a man feels afraid or sad he will usually turn that into anger. Either way, being sad when your really angry or feeling angry when your really afraid, only feed into the problem and do not help you heal from whatever emotional hurt you are trying to deal with.

Dealing with our emotions appropriately doesn’t mean that when you are angry you should go out and do something violent or harmful. Inappropriately dealing with our emotions only leads to more problems, even when we’ve identified what emotion it is we are really feeling. Dealing with our emotions appropriately means acknowledging what you are feeling and focusing the feeling on the source. Most of the time it means allowing yourself to feel.

As uncomfortable as it is to feel angry, sad or afraid, those emotions heal. For example, if your pet dies it is healing to allow yourself to feel sad. As time goes by the sadness is less intense and you feel that way less often. It doesn’t happen over night. It takes time and can be uncomfortable, but you are healing.

The first step in emotional healing is identifying what emotion you are really feeling. Are you mad, glad, sad or afraid?

The second step is to acknowledge and accept what is causing the emotion. Are you angry with your spouse? Are you sad about a missed opportunity? Are you afraid of what others will think of you?

The third step is to allow yourself to feel the emotion connected to the cause. Remember that it isn’t helpful to focus your anger on your dog when your really mad at your boss. Focus the anger, appropriately, where it belongs and allow yourself to experience the emotion.

Doing this doesn’t come naturally at first. However, over time it will become more and more second-nature and you will find yourself more comfortable with your feelings and healing more quickly.

Adeline, you mention in an earlier post that there are only two things needed to get in shape, eat healthy and exercise. You were right!

I’ve taken phentermine and it worked great. I felt great, had energy and no interest in food at all. My house and yard were as clean as they ever are. Bets of all I looked and felt great. The problem is the effect wore off and gradually it just didn’t work anymore. Then I twisted my ankle and was laid up for a while and got into worse shape than I was before I started taking the phentermine.

I had lunch with a friend last week and when I walked into the restaurant I didn’t recognize her. She looked 10 years younger and was in fantastic shape. She was fit and had a healthy aura about her. I asked her what she’d been doing. Belly dancing, she told me.

She had been taking belly dancing classes for about a year, she said and it had all sorts of benefits.

The obvious benefit is getting physically fit. It is a fun way to do a cardio workout. The outfits are fun and sexy. You husband will love seeing everything you’ve learned.

Ciao, Hazel

Hazel, after looking over the emails we’ve been getting, I figured it was time to answer some of them. So I randomly selected one. The question and my answer and advice are below. You’re welcome to chime in with your opinions about it.

What do you think? Preoccupied in Pennsylvania

Well PP… No that doesn’t sound very nice. Let me start over. Well, Preoccupied, I think it’s simple. Just because you WANT a candy bar doesn’t mean you’re going to eat one. Just because you see a new pair of to-die-for shoes doesn’t mean you’re going to throw out your old ones. Just because you think about killing the jerk who cut you off in traffic doesn’t mean you’re going to. Just because . . . well, you get the point.

Looking at and thinking about something you like is not a bad thing. Admire Mr. Hot Waiter from afar, and when you and hubby are doing the horizontal tango, you can fantasize about him. Your husband will thank you. Well, he’ll thank you as long as you don’t tell him it wasn’t exactly him who got you so hot and bothered.

Now that I think about it, I wouldn’t want my husband fantasizing about another woman when we’re having sex. Maybe Hazel will know exactly what you should do. Hazel?

In Canada a judge has ordered a man not to have a girlfriend for three years as a result of the man’s abuse towards his former girlfriends. Here’s the story:

Judge Orders Man Not to Have Girlfriend
AP
PETERBOROUGH, Ontario (June 14) - A judge has ruled that a 24-year-old Canadian man is not allowed to have a girlfriend for the next three years.

The ruling came after Steven Cranley pleaded guilty on Tuesday to several charges stemming from an assault on a former girlfriend.

Cranley, who has been diagnosed with a dependent personality disorder, attacked his girlfriend in an argument after their breakup.

He tried to prevent her from phoning the police by cutting her phone cord and punched and kicked her. He finally stabbed himself with a butcher knife when police did arrive, puncturing his aorta.

Doctors say Cranley has difficulty coping with rejection and runs a high risk to re-offend if he becomes involved in another intimate relationship.

Justice Rhys Morgan said Cranley “cannot form a romantic relationship of an intimate nature with a female person.

“That is the only way I can see the protection of the public is in place until you get the counseling you need.”

Cranley had already served 146 days in pre-trail custody, which Morgan said was enough jail time in this case.

His lawyer says the no girlfriend order is the first of its kind that he has encountered.

OMG, I’ve had a boyfriend or two who could have used a few minutes in THAT judge’s courtroom. I remember a guy in high school who wouldn’t let me leave a swimming pool. He kept pulling me back in and trying to get a feel. Finally some other friends came to the pool, and I was able to leave. Then the guy called me incessantly. Even as an adult, I’ve had a stalker-esque boyfriend. Once I recognized his tendencies, I dropped him, but he made it difficult.

I think the judge made a mistake, Hazel. He said the man couldn’t have an intimate relationship with a “female person.” Now the guy will just go gay for three years. What do you think?

The following are the two simple steps anyone can follow to lose weight and get in shape. Just think - only two steps!

1. Eat less.
2. Move more.

Adeline! HAHAHAHA! Very funny. Where’s the magic bullet? We want a magic bullet!!!

Sorry Hazel - I was just being a smartass. I WISH I had a magic bullet. Really, it SHOULD be that simple.