Paris Hilton and her boyfriend Benji Madden got caught in a familiar position in Prague yesterday. Oh wait. No. That’s not what I thought it was. Never mind, Benji is just helping her up and she fell FLAT ON HER FACE. Of course, the paps got tons of pics of her on her face and with a boo-boo on her chin after the fall. Don’t worry though, she’s comfortable in that position.

Speaking of that, I hear Paris has said that she’s a good roll model for adolescents. I know she’s been a roll model for a lot of years. Her heels are as rounded as they can be from all the rolling over she’s done for all her boyfriends, friends, acquaintances and people she’s met at bars or parties or sidewalks or … well where ever.

Oh, she meant ROLE model! Well hell, her boyfriends have been poking her holes in her ability to be a role model for year!

Paris Hilton is in Turkey. As always, she’s the center of attention - at least in her own mind. You’d think she’d learn at some point that other people don’t think as much of her as she does. But heh, the girl’s a little slow. Well, she’s slow about that anyway.

Paris did about 15 minutes worth of photo ops with kids at an orphanage and then it was back to partying. You have to appreciate that she is consistent if nothing else. This is who she is.

Remember when Paris Hilton had to go to jail and swore she was going to go to Rwanda cause they have lots of poor kids there and she can do all kinds of good things for the world by going there? She said she was changing her life and doing good things from then on? Remember? Then Rwanda said thanks but no thanks so she went on back to partying and seemed like she forgot all about Rwanda and poor kids. It was like she didn’t think there were poor kids she could help anywhere else and besides, she didn’t know where Rwanda was anyway? Remember?

Well, she’s actually IN Africa now. Its not Rwanda, but she’s in South Africa. Of course, she went there because her latest boyfriend, Benji Madden of Good Charlotte is there to perform over the weekend. I’m sure she would have gone anyway (insert sarcasm here). Anyway, since she followed Benji there she thought she might as well do good while she was there. So she found some poor kids and had her picture taken with them. It was kinda like killing two birds with one stone.

All the kids knew who she was (that’s frightening enough by itself!) and she had a slutty publicity shot of herself that she signed and gave out to all the kids - musta thrilled them to death. Actually, it probably did which makes me even sadder for the kids. She actually behaved quite well other than what was probably not the best judgment in giving out those pictures of herself. She dressed a bit more subdued and acted pretty nice with the kids.

Wouldn’t it be nice if she decided that doing things for other people is actually fulfilling and means more than partying 24/7? If only Britney would learn that. But then, what would people like us do for a living if all these celebrities got their acts together.

Heres some photos of Paris in South Africa - the picture above wasn’t taken there, I just added that to get your attention

Honest. to. G*D! Have you ever seen feet like these? Its bad enough that Paris Hilton has size 11 feet, but put on top of that they they are all bones and just plain weird looking. Well, I guess she doesn’t have to worry about falling over. They match her hands. Have you ever noticed her hands? Yeah, they are the same as her feet. It kind of makes me think of those space aliens with the long, thin extremities. Come to think about it, that could explain a lot.

Earl discovers Paris, she debuts on My Name is Earl on April 3rd - Page Six

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Paris Hilton poses nude … again … for 944 Magazine this time. She says she gets upset when people say all she does is party. She’s starting a charity named ‘The Paris Hilton Foundation’. I’m not sure what her foundation is going to support, but I’m sure she’ll figure something out. She says when she’s partying she’s working promoting her products and doing, you know, stuff. She wants people to know she more than just a party girl who gets naked every chance she gets! That’s probably why she posed for this magazine cover and all.

Paris Hilton tries to pump her own gas!! I know, is that really headline news? Probably. She’s finding it difficult to shop, carry shopping bags and purse, talk on her cell phone, text, pose for the paparazzi and concentrate on looking hot while pumping. Doesn’t she have people to do that for her?

I’ve been wondering about all the dogs Paris Hilton keeps showing up with. It seems like every time I turn around she’s getting a new one and making sure she’s photographed with it. Well, that mystery got solved on the Ellen DeGeneres Show! Paris has all those dogs - well, her animal handlers have them, but they are still technically in her care.

She revealed to Ellen that she has 17 dogs and used to have a cat, but it disappeared. It turns out that’s the cat she never remembered to go pick up at the vet and is now in the custody of the State of California Animal Services. To top that off, the Animal Services people were not at all happy with the fact that Paris has all those dogs. It seems there’s some state regulation that restricts the number of dogs at any one address to three dogs. So off they go to nap the extra 14 dogs, but Paris and her dogs were not at home when they went there.

Paris said something about the animals just keep having babies and she’d hate it if someone took her baby away so she just couldn’t separate the babies from the parents, yada, yada. Whatev ….. I don’t see what the big deal is …. all of her dogs put together aren’t as big as one of my dogs. Plus, she’s not taking care of them anyway. It WOULD be a disaster if she was responsible for their meals and water and all, but she’s not. She has animal handlers for that. Plus, Paris says they’ve all been fixed now.

I just hope that Paris doesn’t every decide to breed. THAT would be something to worry about.

source

As you know, Paris Hilton received the Harvard University Lampoon’s Woman of the Year award. She arrived late but gave the students plenty of vamping to make up for it. She obviously had a captive audience and nobody ran her off the stage and made her cry. In fact, her big hands and nipples peeking out of the top of her dress were happy as they could be while she felt herself up and squeaked out karaoke while everyone snapped pictures and gawked at her. Its the next thing to heaven for Paris.

“Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine standing here,” Hilton told a crowd of about 100 students. “It’s really exciting and I’ve had such a great time.” [source]

Yeah she did.

Paris Hilton hosted a pre-Super Bowl party for 944 magazine last night. 50 Cent was performing at the party and since he’s friends with Paris and she was hosting the party he gave her a shout-out. Paris took that as an invitation to get up and perform for the whole audience. She got into it and got up on the stage and started doing her thing. That’s what she does, after all.

As soon as she got on stage and started dancing, 50 Cent’s crew and stagehands started telling her to ‘get the f*ck off the stage’. She started crying and whining saying ‘But its MY party!’ Her people tried to keep anyone from getting a picture of her crying, but Page Six got the photo (above).

She grabbed her boobs and 50 Cent grabbed his crouch and every body is friends again.

Here’s some photos of her short dancing act on stage. That is one girl that REALLY loves herself ….