What do huge fake perfect boobs on a perfectly shaped body covered with perfectly flawless skin topped off with perfectly classical features get you? It gets you fake beads glued to your nipples so you can be topless on the cover of the 2008 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. That’s what happened to Marisa Miller this year. You can check her and others out at Sports Illustrated.

Of course you want to see her in nothing but body paint too don’t cha …

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Its been a while since Paris Hilton has been arrested for anything so her little brother is stepping up to the plate and keeping the family tradition of drunken driving. Barron Hilton was arrested for DUI. Apparently in California there’s all sorts of consequences for that when you are under 21. He’s 18, so he’s been hauled off to jail (I’m sure he’s bailed out by now), will lose his license for a year, will have to attend DUI classes and will probably get probation.

According to Page Six he was so drunk he couldn’t speak and his car was damaged. They didn’t say how or how badly it was damaged.

Don’t you just know the Hiltons are so proud of their progeny!

Catherine Zeta-Jones belly dances her way into Houdini’s heart in the new Houdini film, Death Defying Acts. In the movie she plays a belly dancing psychic who has an affair with Houdini.

Catherine Zeta-Jones is drop dead gorgeous and as the wife of Michael Douglas is richer than the State of California. This is the woman who flies to the UK to get Beluga caviar and truffles smeared on her hair to keep it shiny. So why is she still doing films? She says its to keep her figure, but seriously, do you see a waist in these pictures? I don’t see a waist. When I think of a belly dancer I think of someone who is curvier or at least with a waist. Maybe Michael makes her work to pay for those trips to Britain to get the caviar and truffles smeared in her hair.

After all these years, Cher is still Goth, still outrageous, still one of a kind, still dressing shockingly but she’s not showing as much skin as she used to. God. Awful. Dress. Nuff said.

Its pretty cool that a guy named Jerry found a unique way to propose to his girlfriend. Especially since we are in the season for romance. Yesterday Jerry proposed to his girlfriend in a Valentine’s video on YouTube. He won the ‘Will You Marry Me?’ contest sponsored by 1-800-Flowers. the couple met when they were both students at the University of Illinois. Happily his girlfriend Katie, said yes.

By winning the contest, Jerry and Katie will be get a year of flowers from 1-800-FLOWERS.COM. They’ll also receive destination wedding and honeymoon at Sandals, a Blue Nile diamond engagement ring, and airfare from American Airlines. How cool is THAT!

Best wishes to Jerry and Katie on a happy life that is as lucky as the beginning of their engagement has been. You can leave them best wishes here.

He created a video for her. Please create a blog post that roots for Jerry and wishes him and Katie all the best in their future together!

Feel free to mention out special $10 off promotion.

Amy Winehouse is one hot mess but her beehive was groomed and in place for the Grammys the other night so maybe she really is getting better. Some seem to think she is. She performed I’m No Good and Rehab via satellite after all the hullabaloo over her visa. She won five Grammys for Record of the Year, Song of the Year, Best New Artist, Best Female Pop Vocal Performance, and Best Pop Vocal Album, for “Back To Black“.

Victoria Beckham actually broke out in what for all the world looks like a genuine smile! Woah! THAT doesn’t happen every day. She should do it more often. It looks pretty good on her face. I thought her teeth were bad or something since she keeps her mouth so tight - but they look just fine. She’s pictured here at the Project Runway Season 4 Fall 2008 fashion show on February 8th. She was sitting with the regular judges, Nina Garcia (not pictured), Michael Kors (left) and Heidi Klum (right).

Seriously people, what is this woman doing out of the hospital??? Its actually hard to make fun of her because she’s so pitiful. Well, not really, but it sounded good to say that anyway.

It looks to me that post psychiatric care Britney Spears is one angry trashy nasty chick. Since she’s been out of psychiatric care she got feral at the mall because her credit card wouldn’t go through, threw her drink on a pile of expensive clothes, stole another shirt, cussed out a store clerk and that’s just what I can think of off the top of my head. Now she’s told the Grammys to kiss her ass.

Britney Spears isn’t likely to make a surprise appearance at tonight’s Grammy Awards.

When the troubled pop princess was asked if she had any intentions of attending tonight’s ceremony, the one-time Grammy winner yelled, “Kiss my a–!” at the awaiting paparazzi following a session at Millennium Dance Studios in North Hollywood Saturday.

The Toxic singer, 26, spent about two hours rehearsing at the dance studio Saturday.

Sporting ripped fishnet tights, her favorite brown boots and with her newly caramel hair in a knot on top of her head, Spears took two smoke breaks and spoke briefly in her now infamous British accent.

Her father Jamie checked up on her around 5:45 p.m.

The singer left solo in a chauffeured Escalade at 6:30 p.m.

If her attempt to make-over her life goes anything like the hair make-over she had done then we are in for a long ride.

I’m not sure how old these photos are. They are from a photo shoot Dita Von Teese did for Lionel Deluy. I just thought you might enjoy seeing them. I still have a hard time believing she was married to Marilyn Manson.

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A couple of The Girl’s Next Door, Bridget Marquardt and Holly Madison, brightened up the Mardi Gras in New Orleans on Tuesday. Its good to see things getting back to normal there. Don’t you know that pirate dude that’s showing them around had a very good day that day!

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