Gwyneth Paltrow, pictured here just pretty as a little picture and reeking of delicacy in her G*d awful dress with a huge pink bow. WHAT IS IT WITH THESE OVERSIZED BOWS LATELY? Oh, I lost my train of thought. All I can see is that bow and her trying to look all precious.

Anyway, she says in her fake British accent that she might adopt a child because a good friend of hers says that if you have a lot of money you should adopt. Well, we know that friend is Madonna, no doubt. AND WHAT IS IT WITH ALL THE PEOPLE SPEAKING IN FAKE BRITISH ACCENTS LATELY??? Sorry, I got sidetracked again.

She’s thinking she might pick one up in her hometown of Brooklyn. Brooklyn? I’m all for adopting domestically, our little kids need homes too just like the ones from more exotic locations. But 1) she’s not from Brooklyn and 2) WHAT???.

People who have a lot also often feel like they have a lot to give. I have a good friend who always says that if you’re a person of means at all, then you have to adopt because there are so many kids in the world who need homes.”

When asked if she would adopt a baby from Malawi like Madonna, she responded, “we might get one from Brooklyn. No baby is more helpless than another baby. And I’m a New York girl.” [source]

Maybe she’ll just drop by and pick up a baby in Brooklyn while she’s out running errands. Milk, check. Bread, check. Shop for hideously ugly dress with big pink bow that’s overtaking my face, check. Get hair cut that looks the same as it looked before the hair cut, check. Pick up baby at orphanage, check.

If you live in Brooklyn you might want to keep your babies inside as long as Gwyneth is in town.